A week ago Tuesday my doctor heard a "tick" when he was listening to my heartbeat. I had go in for a check because I just haven't been feeling well at all. Headaches, fatigue, dizziness, heartburn, and other weird things had been bothering me for months. When he told me he heard something weird with my heart and then ordered a chest x-ray, I have to say I got really nervous. It's never fun to think that something might be wrong, but after having a baby it makes it all a lot more real. I couldn't help but consider the "what ifs". It was not fun and made all of my symptoms even worse.
Well, I went in this past Tuesday for my follow up and got good news. My x-ray and blood work all looked perfect. My doctor thinks that all of the symptoms are stress related. Man, I can't imagine what could cause me stress. Maybe the fact that I have had a (temporary) career change from teaching to stay at home mom and now to at home child care provider. Or it could be that Phillip was laid off for 2 months in the Winter. Maybe it ways the financial hardships we have endured over the last year due to both of the previous things mentioned. I don't even have to go into the stress that comes along with being a new(ish) mom and wife. Admitting this is weird to me. I am not depressed. I don't feel overwhelmed most of the time. Sure, I have moments but mostly I feel happy. Sure I have a lot on my plate but I am home with my son and happy with where I live. I have a husband that loves me. Why would my body be so stressed? I feel like my body has failed me. It can't handle the stress that I thought I was handling.
This is where my training comes into play. This training is going to be more than training my body to run a half marathon. It is also going to help train my mind to let go of the stress on the road.
After hearing that my heartbeat was off, I took last week off and just walked. Training started back yesterday and boy was it a day to start back. I swear the wind was 30mph coming across me and I was pushing the stroller trying to keep it straight in the wind. Austin was antsy and still not feeling 100% himself. I was shooting for 4 miles, but barely made it 3.5. I thought I was going to die. I just kept thinking about something a friend once told me :
"When you think you are going to die, run for 30 more seconds. Then run another 30 and another 30"
Today I was planning to do a short run, 2-3 miles and a run up the monument. Well, after running about 2.5, I decided to keep going. I ended up running about 4 miles. I don't think it was quite that far but the dailymile.com map doesn't account for elevation of the monument or the parking lot I ran though, so I had to improvise. Tomorrow is my long run. 6 miles. I am so nervous that I want to puke. (How am I going to do 13.1?)
After my run, I am going to tell ya'll all about how great it was (ha ha) and I will also get into the eating part of this training stuff.
Here are a few pictures of the Monument where I do most of my runs. I wish I could find a better one with a better look at the elevation of that hill. Every time I run up it, I am amazed at how freaking hard it actually it.
The problem remains
10 months ago